Foreplay is anything you and your partner do to get each other excited before sex –  or even without having sex at all. Some people also call it outercourse or non-penetrative sex.

It can include kissing, touching, cuddling, or anything else that helps you feel close and turned on. Foreplay can make sex feel better, but it doesn’t have to lead to sex if you don’t want it to.

Anyone can enjoy foreplay, no matter your gender or who you’re into. What really matters is that both of you agree to it and enjoy what you’re doing together.

Here’s a rewritten version of the content that keeps the meaning but uses simpler, age-appropriate language for a 10th-grade audience. It’s original, clear, and respectful:

Talking About Foreplay With Your Partner

If you and your partner feel ready to try foreplay, it’s a good idea to talk about it first. This helps you both understand what you’re comfortable doing. These conversations can actually help build excitement, even if they feel a little awkward or embarrassing at first –  and that’s completely normal.

How Can I Talk to My Partner About What I Want?

It takes courage to bring up this topic, so give yourself credit for starting the conversation. It’s not always easy, especially if you’re unsure how your partner might react. But being open and honest helps both of you enjoy the experience more.

A good way to start is by talking about what they already do that you like. For example, if you love how they kiss or touch you, tell them! Let them know how good it makes you feel. You can even show them what you like by gently guiding their hand or mouth while you tell them how great it feels.

It’s just as important to check in with your partner to see what they’re into. They might not be sure what they like yet, even if they seem confident. Sharing your likes can help them feel more at ease and open up about what feels good for them too. Just having this kind of open, respectful conversation can bring you closer –  it can even feel like a type of foreplay!

How Do I Talk About Things I’m Worried About?

Pick a calm and comfortable time to talk –  not when things are already heating up physically. A relaxed moment, like when you’re just hanging out, is better.

You can start by saying something positive like, “I really like when you do this,” and then ask what they like in return. Once you’re both feeling connected, you can bring up anything you’re unsure about. Maybe you’re worried about whether you’ll be good at it or whether your partner will find you attractive. These are very normal thoughts.

Remember: being honest is actually attractive. When you open up, you show that you care about how both of you feel, and that builds trust. Your partner might even feel safe enough to share their own worries too.

What If I Don’t Want Foreplay to Lead to Sex?

It’s completely okay to want foreplay without going all the way to penetrative or oral sex. If that’s how you feel, try to talk about it before you start getting physical. That way, your partner understands what your limits are from the start.

Before anything happens, think about what you’re comfortable with. Knowing your own boundaries makes it easier to stick to them.

If you’re in the middle of foreplay and want to stop, be clear with your words and body language. You can move away a little or say something like, “That was really nice, but I want to stop now,” or “I’m enjoying this, but I’m not ready to go further.” If your partner tries something you don’t like, it’s okay to speak up. You might say, “I know you’re trying to make me feel good, but that’s not something I enjoy.”

Your Boundaries Matter

It’s your body, and you have every right to decide what you are and aren’t ready for. Just because you’ve started something doesn’t mean you have to keep going. A caring partner will understand and respect your boundaries.

But if your partner pressures you, makes you feel guilty, or keeps going after you’ve said no –  that’s not okay. That’s a sign they’re not respecting you, and if they don’t stop after you clearly say no, it can be considered sexual assault.

Being in a healthy relationship means both people feel safe, respected, and listened to. Talking openly and honestly is part of that. You deserve to feel good about your choices –  and to only do what feels right for you.