Choosing to have sex for the first time is a big step, and it’s something you should think about carefully. This guide can help you decide if the time feels right for you.

Sex can be a good and enjoyable experience- but only if both you and your partner truly feel ready.

The most important question is: Do you really want to have sex? Each time you choose to have sex, you should feel completely sure and excited about it.

Never feel like you have to do it- whether it’s because your partner is pressuring you or because you think “everyone else” is doing it. This is your life, and you’re allowed to wait until it feels right.

If you do decide that you’re ready, make sure you’re prepared by using protection to prevent both unplanned pregnancy and sexually transmitted infections (STIs).

How Can I Tell If I’m Ready for Sex?

The most important thing to ask yourself is: Do I really want to have sex?
You should feel excited, comfortable, and interested- not confused, nervous, or unsure. If you feel stressed or hesitant, it might mean you’re not ready yet, and that’s totally okay. Take time to think about your feelings.

Some people feel they need to be in a loving, trusting relationship before having sex. Others may not. What matters most is that you feel safe, confident, and in control when making this decision.

You don’t have to do everything at once. There are many ways to be close and intimate with a partner. You might feel ready for some things, but not for others- and that’s perfectly fine.

Make sure to talk openly with your partner about what you’re comfortable with. This helps make sure both of you feel respected and on the same page.

Everyone Else Is Doing It- Should I?

It can be tough when it feels like all your friends are having sex. But here’s the truth: there’s no “right” time to start having sex. Everyone’s journey is different.

Some people may say they’re having sex when they’re not. You don’t have to follow what others are doing. What matters most is doing what’s right for you, not rushing into something just to fit in.

Should I Have Sex Just Because My Partner Wants To?

No. Sex should be something both people want. You should never feel like you have to do it to make someone happy. The choice to have sex should come from mutual interest and full consent- every single time.

If you’re not ready or not interested, your partner should respect that. Talk about how you feel so that your relationship stays honest and respectful.

Remember: saying no doesn’t mean you don’t care- it means you care about your own comfort and boundaries, which is important in any healthy relationship.

Does Sex Hurt?

This is a very common thing people wonder about. It’s normal for vaginal or anal sex to feel a little strange or uncomfortable the first time, but it shouldn’t be really painful.

There are two main things that can help make it feel better:

1. Foreplay – This means things like kissing, touching, or anything that helps you and your partner get excited and more relaxed before sex.
   
2. Lubricant (lube) – This is especially helpful for anal sex, since the anus doesn’t produce its own moisture.
   

Feeling nervous or tense can make it harder for your body to relax, and that can cause discomfort. So it’s important to make sure you feel calm, safe, and truly ready.

How Can I Get Ready for My First Time?

If you feel sure that you’re ready to have sex, it’s smart to be prepared- especially to protect yourself and your partner from unwanted pregnancy and sexually transmitted infections (STIs).

• Use condoms – Condoms are the only method that protect against both pregnancy and STIs.
  
• Look into other birth control options – There are different kinds that prevent pregnancy, but they don’t protect against STIs.
  
• Get lube – Lube makes sex more comfortable and enjoyable. It’s extra important for anal sex, where there isn’t any natural lubrication.
  

And remember, regular testing for HIV and other STIs is a great way to stay healthy if you’re sexually active.

How Can I Make My First Time Enjoyable?

If you want your first time to feel good, start by focusing on comfort and communication. Talk with your partner about what you’re okay with and go slowly. The goal isn’t to be perfect- it’s to feel safe, respected, and connected.

I’ve Had Sex Before- So That Means I’m Always Ready?

Not at all. Just because you’ve had sex once doesn’t mean you have to say yes every time after.
Your feelings can change- about yourself, about sex, or about your partner. That’s completely normal.

Also, just because you’ve tried one kind of sex (like vaginal sex) doesn’t mean you automatically want to try another (like oral or anal). It’s important to stop and ask yourself: Do I really want to do this right now?

Want to Talk About It?

Talking with someone- like a friend or your partner- can help you figure out what you’re ready for. A good conversation can clear up confusion and make you feel more confident. Try sending a message or asking a simple question like, “What do you think being ready for sex means?”

You deserve to make your own choices, at your own pace.