Having sex for the first time can feel exciting- but it can also bring up lots of different emotions, like nervousness, curiosity, or even confusion. That’s totally normal.

Sex feels best when both you and your partner enjoy it and feel comfortable. The most important thing is that you both feel truly ready. Never rush into it just because you feel pressured or think it’s “time.” Being ready means feeling safe, relaxed, and wanting to do it- not just going along with it.

Before your first time, it’s a good idea to talk with your partner about how to protect yourselves. There are several options to help you have safer sex. Condoms are a great choice- they help prevent sexually transmitted infections (STIs), HIV, and unwanted pregnancy.

Everyone’s first time is different, and that’s okay. To help things go smoothly, here are a few helpful tips:

• Communicate openly with your partner.
  
• Take things slow.
  
• Use protection.
  
• Focus on comfort- not perfection.
  

What matters most is that both of you feel respected and safe. That’s the real key to a great first time.

Are You Sure You Want to Have Sex?

Before you decide to have sex, the most important question to ask yourself is: Do I really want to do this?
Feeling nervous before your first time is completely normal. But being nervous isn’t the same as not being ready- take a moment to figure out how you truly feel.

Don’t feel pressured just because your friends are having sex. Everyone moves at their own pace, and the right time is when you feel confident and comfortable.

Still not sure? It might help to read a guide on how to know if you’re truly ready to have sex.
And remember: even if you think you’re ready, you can always change your mind. That’s perfectly okay.

What About Consent?

Maybe you’re ready- but is your partner?
The only way to know is to talk openly.

Ask how they feel. If they say no or aren’t sure, respect their answer. Don’t pressure them, guilt them, or try to convince them otherwise. Both people should feel clear-minded and equally willing. If your partner is drunk or asleep, they can’t give consent– and sex without consent is never okay.

Once you’re both comfortable, talk about what you each want to do and what you’re not okay with. This conversation can help make the experience more exciting and respectful.

Consent doesn’t stop once sex begins. Check in with your partner, especially if you want to try something new. You can pause or stop at any time. And just because someone says yes once doesn’t mean they have to say yes again in the future.

How Can You Plan Ahead?

Planning can make everything smoother and safer. Find a time and place where you and your partner will have privacy and feel relaxed.

It’s smart to talk ahead of time about what kind of sex you want to have and what you’re comfortable with. Make sure you have protection ready- condoms are important because they help protect against HIV, STIs, and pregnancy.

It’s also helpful to have lubricant (lube), especially if you’re trying something like anal sex, since that area doesn’t naturally produce moisture. Lube can make sex feel better and help avoid discomfort or injury.

What Kind of Sex Do You Want to Try?

There’s more to sex than just intercourse. You might explore:

• Vaginal sex
  
• Oral sex
  
• Anal sex
  
• Masturbation
  
• Foreplay
  
• Sex toys
  

Think about what interests you and talk to your partner about it. Masturbation is a good way to figure out what you enjoy and what feels good to you.

You can also learn more about each type of sex to better understand what to expect.

What Should You Expect from Your First Time?

Sex can be fun and exciting- but the first time might not be perfect. It’s common to feel a bit awkward, nervous, or even uncomfortable at first. That’s totally normal.

Don’t expect fireworks on your first try. What matters most is that you and your partner trust each other and keep the conversation going. If something doesn’t feel right, speak up or stop. You both deserve to feel safe and respected.

In the end, great sex comes from good communication, trust, and mutual respect– not just knowing the “right moves.”

What Is Foreplay?

Foreplay is everything you and your partner do to turn each other on before having sex. This can include kissing, touching, licking, cuddling- basically anything that builds up the excitement and connection between you.

If it’s your first time having sex, it’s helpful to go slow. Foreplay helps you both relax and feel close, and it also prepares your body. For example, the penis gets hard, the vagina gets wet, and if you’re trying anal sex, gentle touching can help the area relax.

And here’s something important- foreplay can be enough on its own. If you enjoy it but don’t want to go further into penetration, that’s completely okay.

How Can I Talk About What I Like?

Talking during sex or foreplay helps you and your partner learn what feels good and what doesn’t.

If something feels amazing, say it! Letting your partner know when they’re doing something right can be a big turn-on for them too.

If something feels uncomfortable or you want to stop, speak up. A caring partner will always listen and respect your boundaries.

Pay attention to your partner’s reactions, too. Things like moaning, smiling, or saying “yes!” are signs they’re enjoying it. But if they go quiet, look away, or seem distant, ask how they’re feeling. That might mean they want to stop or are unsure.

Communication makes everything better– the more you share and listen, the more enjoyable your experience will be.

Will I Have an Orgasm?

An orgasm happens when sexual tension builds up in your body and is then released in a wave of pleasure. For people with a penis, this usually means releasing semen. For people with a vagina, it can involve releasing a clear fluid, along with a strong, pleasurable feeling.

But orgasms don’t always happen- and that’s okay! You can still have enjoyable and meaningful sex without one.

Learning about your body, staying relaxed, having good foreplay, and talking about what you like all make orgasms more likely. But don’t feel bad if it doesn’t happen- sex isn’t just about reaching the finish line.

What If I’m Feeling Nervous?

Being nervous about sex- especially the first time- is completely normal. Lots of people feel that way. You might be excited, scared, unsure, or even all of those at once.

Try not to pressure yourself. Your first time doesn’t need to be “perfect.” It just needs to feel right for you.

If you’re still feeling nervous, talking with your partner can help ease your mind. You could also speak with a close friend or a trusted adult to get support.

And remember- you don’t have to have sex. Feeling very anxious might be a sign you’re not quite ready, and that’s okay. Take your time. Only move forward when it feels truly right for you.

Let’s Talk About It

Ready to get real about sex and what matters?
Try asking questions like:

• Do we both feel ready?
  
• What protection will we use?
  
• What are we okay with, and what aren’t we ready for yet?
  

Talk with your partner, message a friend, or even share thoughts on social media if that helps. The more we talk about sex honestly, the better and safer it becomes for everyone.